Nearly all of us have experienced the loss of a loved one and the feeling of heaviness or emptiness that we must pass through to come to a place of acceptance and gratitude for having had them in our lives.

But, what about a loss that isn’t quite as obvious?

• Growing apart from your significant other
• Missing out on a childhood from having to take care of siblings, an ailing parent, family substance abuse
• Realizing you’re not living your dream life
• Regretting choices you’ve made
• Losing out on an opportunity

There are so many more examples…

We have all these beliefs and expectations for ourselves and others and when they don’t materialize we can get suck in the cycle of self-pity when what we really need to do is…

We Need to Grieve Our Losses

Grieving or Mourning is the process of acknowledging the loss, feeling the pain, letting go of trying to control what happened, and honoring that which we lost and ourselves by caring for and loving ourselves, which allows us to continue moving forward toward our best and highest lives.

In contrast, Self-Pity is a form of Self-Punishment, making yourself feel the pain over and over.

First, here’s some quick ways to tell if you’re stuck in self-pity

—- Comparing your life to others (why can’t I have that, everybody else gets to do this why not me, I should have that by now, I can never be like them)

—- Ruminating/thinking about how hard or bad it is over and over and over

—- Uninterested in finding a solution or making a change

—- Assigning blame to someone or something else

Yes, mourning initially includes something similar to self-pity – feeling sorry for ourselves for having lost this person, place or thing – but, we do it with self-empathy and compassion, we nurture ourselves through the pain.

Take a look at the things you feel have passed you by or are no longer a part of your life, or maybe never were…things that seemed to have happened without your permission…things that make you feel heavy or empty inside when you think of them…

And Let Yourself Grieve

It’s ok to grieve the belief that you’re not where you thought you would be in your life, or someone close to you has changed or maybe is not who you thought they were. Let yourself feel the hurt, but let go of the blame and understand people, places and things are allowed to be however they are in this world. Support yourself, nurture yourself and love yourself. Allow yourself some time and space. Let go of trying to control the past and spend some time thinking of the highest and best steps you can take to move forward.

Self-pity is a never ending struggle of pain

Grieving is a process of healing

Which shall you choose?

= And, which do you think will manifest your highest and best life?

---

Cat Parah offers Intuitive Happiness Coaching. When you’re ready to Awaken Your Intuitive Happiness contact Cat at cat.parah@gmail.com.

The information, sessions and workshops I offer are at no time meant to replace medical advice. Although I am certified in many complimentary therapies, I am not a licensed medical physician. If you are experiencing physical, mental, emotional issues please seek advice from a licensed physician.